Gothenburg Celtic 2-2 Styrsö BK

Gothenburg Celtic 2-2 Styrsö BK

Location: Heden
Attendance: A big bunch of islanders and Davy G
Team: Daniel, Niall, Glyn, Stevie(c), Dan, Barry, Andreas, Simon, Jim, Adrian, Rossa
Subs: Gary, Jesper, Krister, Nakamarko, Momo
Scorers: Adrian, Glyn
Man of the match: Gotta be Glyn
Refwatch: Sensitive enough oul soul who doesnt like swearing but he did a grand enough job.

Who ur we playing today, eh? said one hooped player walking across the pitches on Heden. A bunch a f****ng islanders came the reply from the other player. Sure maybe thats what we ur to thaim n aw, a bunch ay f****ng islanders!Ever think ay that? Naw but Aye, Good point. It was the tuesday the 6th of April 2010 and Gothenburg Celtic were about to start their football season against Styrsö BK from one of the islands on Gothenburgs west coast. Except this was a whole lot different to what they were used to in previous seasons. Instead of being a random korpen football team they were now officially a football club. Yes a football club, with managers and chairmans and treasurers and training sessions and training cones and all that pish. No longer were to the Götehoops mixing it with the minnows of korpen football and their referees with zimmerframes, 20 stone truck driving centre halfs and gravel pitches. Divison football had arrived and so had all the unbelievable perks. Astroturf, yes, you read correctly, Astroturf!, floodlights, Heden! They opposition had Away shirts. Away shirts.. the hoops had finally arrived on the big stage.

Dan the Man Davis was the man to lead the hoops to their first season in division 7c of the Göteborg league and he quickly went about his strategy in the dressing rooms. Daniel was to be in between the sticks with Niall and Dan himself as fullbacks. Glyn and newly appointed captain Stevie were the two starting centre halfs. Barry and new bhoy Jim were on the right and left wings respectively with token Swedes Simon and Andreas anchoring the midfield. Irish duo Adrian and Rossa were up front. gary, Momo, Jesper, krister and the bold Nakamarko were on the sideline and ready to come in if needed. With the players warmed up and ready for battle against the islanders, all that was needed was the Celtic huddle to finally mark the start of an historic occassion.

The game started edgy for the hoops. Very similar to their two pre season friendlies against Hjuviks AIK a couple of weeks previous. The islanders showed that they were no slouches at his football carry on and quickly took control of the game. A fit, organised, hungry outfit with truckloads of skill and technical ability, any stereotypes of primitive, cave dwelling island folk was quickly dismissed. The Celtic found it hard to find their stride were feeding off scraps for a long period of the first half. But the Götehoops fought on and pressurised the Styrsö defence as much as they could with forwards tornado kelly and Rossa Hurley chasing down the keeper and defence as much as they could. But it was the islanders who struck first half way through the first half. Styrsös nippy left winger got by the challenge of Niall and whipped in a low ball across the park finding a couple Celtic defenders out of position and their striker with a glorious chance at his feet. He smashed first time past Daniel to make it 1-0 to Styrsö and send the thousands of battle axe wielding islanders on the sidelines into jubilation.

The hoops kicked off for the restart and the players mutually decided that it was time to up it a few gears. Celtic began to creep back into the game slowly with Ipswich Jim, Celtics newest arrival quickly finding some joy down his wing. Barry and Niall fought hard down the right hand side as the hoops began to slowly but surely penetrate the Styrsö defence. Disaster soon struck for Celtic when player manager Dan got absolutely clattered on his wing and had to leave the field of play injured. After a wee shuffle round, Jesper came into teh fray to add some spice to the attack. After a misdemenour with the flood lights (however the everpresent Nakamarko shot over to the shop for bag of 50ps and sorted it) the game restarted and it was Celtic who began to dominate but couldnt find the guilt edged chance to equalise. Both Kelly and Simon ahd long range shots saved and it was from the latters resulting corner where the game turned on his arse. Jim whipped in a delightful ball down the keepers throat only for him to spill under pressure from Glyn, the islander defence managed to head away but a return header into the danger area from skipper Stevie Roddie but the pressure back on Styrsö. Glyn, still up there throwing his weight around hacked the ball goal bound but the keeper managed the parry, Barry, was next to have a dig at it but the keeper again managed to save but he could do nothing about the onrushing Kelly who knocked the ball over the line with what can be described as his genitalia. He always knew it would come in handy for something other than having a pish some day. The Celtic players, subs and supporter went wild as history was written and the hoops were back on level terms. The rest of the half ended with Celtic on top banging in those jackie Charlton long balls on top of the Styrsö defence who, with their footballing skills, found this to be a completely bizzare concept. The nigglely auld ref blew his whistle and ended the first half with the Götehoops on a high.

Dan delivered the team talk at half time and the strategy was quickly decided. Unlike the Gothenburg Celtic players, who looked pristine, ooze panache and are the very essence of handsome, their football was gonna turn ugly. Oh yes! If we cant match them playing football, we bring those f*****rs down to our level and pin them back with snow on the ball skyscrapers raining down into their half. And could they deal with it? Could they f**k! Celtic made a few changes i.e Andreas and Stevie swapped positions with Stevie talkin on the role in centre midfield and Andreas in defence, Momo came on the field of play too with Barry slotting into left back. Andreas who might not be the most mobile of players dealt with any threat in defnce admirably and quickly unleashed his secret weapon. That bhoy can fairly kick the f*****g ball hard. Free kicks, kick outs you name it were pasted into the Styrsö half as strikers Momo, Rossa and midefielder Jesper, Stevie, Simon and Jim began to win the exchanges. Another secret weapon was soon unveiled as skipper Stevie peppered the area with his Rory Delap style long throws.

Unfortunately, the islanders arent all that bad at this football mallarkey and soon took the lead again. A cross field long ball into the box found the bold Barry White out of position which unlike his namesake was not funky and smooth. Styrsös little wee striker took it down and dispatched it to the net past keeper Dan who was having a good game. Again the hoops founds themselves in familiar territory but they failed to give in. With the game on edge and the Celtic behind, the game began to boil over. Simon, who was finally finding his feet in midfield was raked down on his shin. This spurred Momo to retaliate. The Iranian pulled down his balaclava and got stuck into the Strysö midfielder. Glyn and Stevie quickly joined in the scuffle but thankfully it didnt escalate and it ended up being just a bit of holding, effing and blinding and calling each other mother a gowlbag. The referee who was being a pain in the hole all game managed to defuse it with out sending off anyone. A miracle considering in the first he threatened to cut stevies balls off and shove them down his throat if he had the nerve to call offside again.

The game restarted with an Andreas thunderbolt into the box. That bhoy can fairly kick the ball hard. Chances were popping up for the celts but to no avail, Andreas missed a free header from a corner and Jim and Rossa knocked their shots wide. With ten minutes remaining Adrian re entered the pitch for Niall as the Götehoops put three up front in search of a second equaliser. Jim got a lot of joy down the left and worked well with Barry who was having a blinder at full back. Jim won the ball down the left and the ball found Kelly lurking at the edge of the eighteen yard box. Ado whipped in an inviting left footed cross along the deck and two centre halves went for it. One in yellow and one in green and white hoops. It was big Glyn, in his 39th year of being (he doesnt look a day over 36 God love him) who slid in first knocking the ball past the keeper to the equalise for the second time and ring out the loudest cheer of the night. Get IN!! was the cry heard loudest from the scorer. Emlyn Hughes style apparently. The game restarted with just a handful of minutes remaining. Challenges were flying in with Barry recieving a yellow for a challenge in which he got the ball and a bit part of islander skin. The tables turned quickly with the football being played by the side in green and white with some delightful passing on show from Simon, Rossa and Jim. Unlike most the match, it was the celts who were attacking with flair for a change. The referee blew his whistle, he had a good game even if he wasnt getting his hole (or whatever other reason he was miserbale) and the players shook hands.

The Strysö lads were mightily impressed with the Götehoops after hearing that they only ever played two games together as an 11 a side club side. The Styrsö fellas were a grand bunch of lads and promised to sacrifice four of their finest goats for the return fixture out on the island on the sunday of midsummer.

The Celts headed to the dressingroom extremely content and satisfied with a draw in their opening game against what surely must be one of the better sides in the division. The players then headed out in the darkness hoping to get into the pub before last orders contemplating the long hard toiling season ahead.

Hail Hail

Ak

p.s: thanks for every who camme. Next game against proletären FF saturday week in åkeredsvallen. Tune in.