Gothenburg Celtic FC 3-0 Billdals BK

Gothenburg Celtic 3-0 Billdal

Location: Heden
Attendance: 59,000
Team: Daniel, Jason, Andreas, Markus, Colm, Slavic, Stevie(c), Adrian, Jim, Krister, Andreas
Subs: Niall, Shaun
Scorers: Stevie, Slavic, Krister
Man of the match: Slavic
Refwatch: Pish

Gothenburg Celtic beat Billdal out the gates of Heden in a bruising encounter in Heden last thursday. After losing to FC Gole 4-2 the week before, the heads were down a bit and with 13 players out injured or sunning their arses on holiday it looked like it could be a repeat result. But you know the Celts, to use the old cliche, they never give up. And of course the sight of young fancy footballers dribbling around the park is like a pack of lions gazing leeringly at some unsuspecting zebras in the Sarangetti. There was only one outcome. Oh yes. The physical game again. You may think thats a fancy way of saying we kicked them off the park and to be fair you wouldnt be a million miles off.

Billdal quickly asserted themselves in midfield and proved to be a handful for their older counterparts in the hoops but a few rash challenges here and crashing tackle there (all fairly competetive and decent mind you) quickly turned the balance in the middle. Billdal put a lot of strain on the Celtics defence but at no time troubled Dan the keeper. Well, except once when he shanked his clearance but that couldnt be put down to Billdal pressure. Gothenburg Celtic werent without their efforts either and Jim nearly smashed the crossbar with a long range effort. Slavic, the young angry one, proved to be a handful down the right and had a few efforts sail wide. The first half ended with a content celtic knowing that eventhough they were fairly fucked that this encounter wasnt over by a long shot.

The second half turned out to be an excellent 45 minutes of football for the Götehoops and it wasnt long before the deadlock was broken. Stevie did what Stevie does and cracked one in from 30 yards. A few minutes later Kelly took the ball outside his own box and fed Jim in midfield who in turn split the defence in two for the onrushing Slavic who got his shot away. The keeper saved but it rebounded back off the young half Estonian half Irish half Swede and into the net. He milked his celebration. And rightly so. Two nil and cruising. The rest of the half was shut up shop jobbie with the defence doing what the defence do: Kicking the ball hard. Always a golden rule of the hoops, when in doubt, kick it Hard! And they did so with Jason, Colm, Andreas and Markus clearing everthing in sight. The midfield quickly had to come to terms with a thorn in their side all game. Their small young central midfielder proved to be quite a player and was causing problems for the hoops. Even Kellys intimidation tactics proved to be futile as he just got giddy, like he was on a ride in Liseberg. When Kelly shouted: Come ere ya little cunt, im gonna get ya and boot ya up the hole, he just seemed to get excited and giggle like a school girl. But the giddy little legend happned to also be a greedy giddy little legend and no matter how many players he managed to get past, he always came to a crashing halt somewhere down the line.

With Billdal pressing in an attempt to claw their way back into the game, acres of space was left for Andreas, Krister and Shaun (all playing out of their skin) to roam around in. With the clock running down, the final nail in the Billdal coffin was firmly delivered. Krister kept the ball in play deep in the Billdal half, totally against public opinion at the time it must be said, and inched his way towards the corner flag. Whilst at the flag holding the ball up he had an epiphany. A great advocate of the attacking game, he did not achieve inner peace playing these negative, match killing tactics and a suddenly devil appeared on his shoulder and said to himself: Go on, have a go. What the worst that can happen!?. His good mindset in the shape of an angel, appeared on his shoulder soonafter urging him to think of the team and keep the ball in the corner to waste time. The devil won and Krister said: Im fuckin having this!!!!!!. He duly let fly from the corner flag (literally the corner flag, no exaggeration here sonny) and the ball flew into the far corner off the post. Stick a fork in yourselves Billdal, You. Are. Done.

The fucking sickening ref blew his whistle and the Celts added another memorable victory to the list. Billdal will be aggrieved not to have got more from the game as they played some sexy football at time but Gothenburg Celtic are the hardest of cunts and to be fair they cant tolerate fancy sexy football. Unless its from themselves of course. IF Hakoah, the league leaders and Gothenburgs number one jewish team are up next.

Ya really should come and support the hoops. Really.

hail hail

ak

Tid
13 - Varning - Andreas Alvarsson
58 - Mål - Stephen Roddie 1-0
60 - Mål - Patrick Gildea 2-0
67 - Varning - Peter Bernåker
89 - Mål - Krister Nygren 3-0

Table can be viewed at Svensk Fotboll.