Players profile - Fullbacks

Players profile - by A.Millerick
Here is a presentation of the squad, done by our correspondent, in live from Göteborg - Sweden
Fullbacks :
BARRY WHITE – Former Liverpool schoolboy ’Baz’ is a bit of a legend in Gothenburg Celtic circles. Now in his tenth season with the club, the versatile full back/ midfielder is still a fan favourite. Whether it’s the blonde hair or the mischief making, White’s jersey is one of the first to sell out every season in the club shop. The club’s physios have tried to get White out of the pub in an attempt to improve his injury record, but White firmly believes his beer drinking exploits help him over the course of a season.
BRENDAN CLARKE-SMITH – Tory boy, fake Brendan. Call him what you want and left-back Bren probably won’t mind too much. Another popular member of the squad, Clarke-Smith is often found hanging around his University Halls of Residence, trying to use his fine knowledge of the European Parliamentary system to convince girls to go back to his room. As well as unsuccessfully chasing girls, Brendan also enjoys smashing the ball as hard as he can Stoke City style. If you’re sat in row X and BCS is shooting watch out. Brendan also loves a good sliding tackle, and last season’s stats showed he made more sliding tackles than anyone else in Scandinavia. Recently offered a one year deal, Clarke-Smith is rumoured to be Roy Hodgson’s preferred choice for the England left back role ahead of Leighton Baines, once Cashley Cole retires. BCS owns more replica football shirts than anyone else on the planet.
COME FRACHON – Once lauded as the next Willy Sagnol, Come is another popular member of the GC truppen. Often used at right back, Frachon is a consistent member of Korp set-up. However, when asked to play for the Saturday side the Frenchman was always too busy shopping with his lady – something which upset a few of the other Celtic lads. Although many players find his French accent hard to understand, Come is often sent by Gothenburg Celtic’s press officers to answer questions in English, Swedish and French to the world media. It’s another job the full back does well.
NIALL O’CONNOR – Niall models his game on that of former Manchester United defender John O’Shea, and according to GC sources, the big man even has pictures of Republic of Ireland’s back four all over his apartment bedroom. Another valuable member of the GC unit, Niall is never out of the loop when it comes to anything to do with any sport. Always hooked up on his phone, and with his headphones in, Niall is a well-informed man. When not looking at his phone, Niall is a decent, solid right back. Although his season was ruined by injury last season, when he played, O’Connor always did his job well. As GC’s chief scout, Niall was responsible for the recruitment of Khalid and Julien. Manager Garrett will be hoping Niall can continue to fly around the world to recruit more talent before next season commences.
ROBIN ROSENGREN – GC’s answer to Howard Hughes, Rosengren is a popular part of the GC set up. Preferred at right back this season, Rosengren performed well when called upon. After briefly trying to be a manager at the seven a-side tournament earlier on last summer and failing miserably, Robin decided to become a pilot. If anyone’s capable of pulling off that uniform Rosengren is. Rumour has it he’ll be flying missions over all of Celtic’s opposition’s training sessions, and then flying to gaffer Garrett’s house to give him the lowdown on how they play. There’s a chance Robin will swap training and playing with a bunch of hairy, overweight men, for flying around the world next season. Considering he’ll probably be sleeping with a variety of fine women on the way and living the high life, all at GC will be sad to see him go, but I’m sure everyone will understand his reasons.
NUNO RAMALHO – Nuno hails from the sunshine of Portugal, after somehow deciding being in cold and grey Sweden was a better idea. He then decided to make that decision look even more bizarre by swapping a career with Sporting Lisbon for the joys of playing for the Celts. Nuno, who once starred in a Portuguese tourism video alongside Luis Figo and Nuno Gomes, is a versatile player who played most his football last season in the Korp team. A good right back, Ramalho is committed to the cause and quite adventurous going forward. Injury ended his season early, but he’ll be back next season we hope.
GARY SHEEHAN – Where do you start with the maverick that is Gary Sheehan? Well if Gary had anything to do with it, not with his now infamous Youtube video. Putting that aside for a minute, Gary is a respected member of the GC squad, who has a good eye for a pass. According to reports Gary is never seen out of his Charlton Athletic kit, and even wears it to do his grocery shopping at ICA. His strong cockney accent means often only the other English players in the team can understand him, but somehow that doesn’t stop Gary from making everyone laugh with his sense of humour. Hopefully we’ll see more of Gary next season.